Friday, October 14, 2005

Evil Glenn's Voices

A Filthy Lie

I know what the voices in my head tell me. They say things like, "Meat is murder. Love vegetables, don't eat them. Watch Lifetime, it's not just for women. No war for oil." So obviously I have a hippy/commie infiltrating my head.

Evil Glenn hears voices too, and I bet you wonder what they say. Fortunately for you, I have inside information. Here's a sampling:

VOICE: Glenn.


V: Glenn.

IP: Who's There?

V: Glenn.

IP: What do you want?

V: The Glennster.

IP: Are you going to say anything other than my name?

V: Why? You only ever say "Hmmm," and "We'll see."

IP: Hmmm.

V: Glenny. Glenn Ben. The Glennmiester.

IP: Will you shut up already?

V: Gle-he-he-he-he-henn.

IP: If you were a puppy I would blend you.

V: The Glennamatic 5000.

IP: If you were a hobo I would punch you.

V: Glenalokadokadenn!

IP: Shut the f*** up already!

So, as you can see, Evil Glenn's voices have nothing substantive or worthwhile to say, much like his blog. Now if I could just find a way to rid myself of that dirty hippy...

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