Thursday, November 03, 2005

Stupid Commercial

There's an ad on the radio that just makes me want to go on a wild, blissful shooting spree. (Hopefully I will bag more hippies than innocent civilians) It's the exact same one that's been running for years now, and it's gotta stop. I'm talking about the commercial that says wearing glasses or corrective lenses leads to worse vision. Would it be at all possible for these people to use some meager element of logic here? Is that possible?

According to this absurd advertisement, people who wear glasses need to keep getting stronger and stronger prescriptions. Obviously, the reason for this is that the glasses are causing the degradation in visual capacity. Right? I don't know. Is it, maybe, possible that the degenerative condition that caused the need for corrective lenses may be responsible for the need to get a stronger prescription? Of course it is, Stupid!

If you want to do eye exercises, go ahead. Knock yourself out. I recommend the spin class, although I hear it can cause dizziness. They must have a crack research staff to come to such a scientifically sound conclusion that wearing glasses leads to poor eyesight. There isn't any confusing of cause and effect here, is there?

Let's see. Using their reasoning, I can come up with a theory of my own. I remember being ill with a cold last winter. One day I had pizza for dinner and the next day I felt worse. Evidently, it was the pizza that made the cold worse. Then on that day I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch. I started to feel better the next day. Clearly the PBJ had healing powers. I recommend PBJ to get over a cold. Hey, it's as scientific as this company's outlandish claim.

Let's try another, in quiz form. The other night as the young'un was getting tucked into bed, the dog was nowhere to be seen. The door was closed. A few minutes later, upon opening the door, I observed that the dog was lying on the young'un's bed. How did she get there if the door was closed?

A.) She apparently has magical abilities to render herself invisible at will.
B.) She has the power to transport herself like the characters in Star Trek, de-materializing in one place and then re-materializing in another.
C.) She was under the bed before I closed the door, then crawled out and hopped on the bed after I left.

Certainly the writers of this ad would select "A" as the preferred answer, knowing that transporter technology is unavailable as of yet. Anyone with even the most diminutive fragment of a brain can determine the correct answer, but I'm guessing these folks can't.

Ugh! I'm so sick of that preposterous ad.

Linked on Mudville Gazette, Don Surber, Wizbang, Stop the ACLU, Point Five

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