Warning: Guest editorial, by Flowers Bloom
Hi, I'm Flowers Bloom. I don't understand why people want to fight with each other all the time. If we would all just give each other flowers, we could all be so much happier. Flowers are pretty, and they smell nice. That's what we need, more flowers, and hugs. If we all just gave flowers and hugs, we wouldn't have to fight in wars. "Hugs, not guns." That's what I always say.
Don't you think that Osama bin Laden would want to be nice to us if we just had responded to him by giving him flowers and hugs? He would think we are so nice, and he would probably apologize for being mean to us.
We also shouldn't use inflammatory words like "terrorist" and "attacked." President Bush says that "terrorists attacked" us on September 11th. How would you feel if the President called you a terrorist, and said that you attacked his country? I would feel angry and upset if that happened.
Now what if the President had said, "I understand that you don't feel good about how America pushes its way of life on everyone. Here are some flowers, and a hug. I'm sorry. We should try harder to get along."
That's not what happened though. President Bush continued the cycle of violence by invading other countries. War only makes people dead, but hugs make people feel good. You see how easy that is to figure out?
What about the golden rule? Doesn't anyone remember that? "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Do Americans want people from other countries invading them and getting rid of the American government? I don't. I doubt other Americans do either. So why are we doing that to the people of other countries. We should be nice to them instead, and they will be nice to us in return.
We should also have more bunnies. Bunnies are cute and soft and cuddly. Even a Mr. Tough Guy type gets all like, "Oh look at the cute little bunny. Fuzzy, soft wittle bunny wabbit. You so cute." So how angry could Zarqawi or bin Laden be if we gave them bunnies? We could all just live in peace and harmony if we had more flowers, hugs and bunnies... And puppies and kittens too. They're good for making people feel good too.
Let's all give flowers, hugs, bunnies, kittens, and puppies, so we can have happiness and world peace. Think about it. You can't hug your children with nuclear arms.
Linked on Mudville Gazette
TNOYF Fake Quote Of The Day featured this. (I assume this was an error of some sort)