Thursday, June 30, 2005

President Resigns: Cites Low Ratings, Poll Numbers

Amid a cacophony from the Left, urging President Bush to resign, he shocked the nation and did just that in a press conference earlier today, covered by Radioactive Liberty, and no other press outlets. He told our reporter in a Radioactive Liberty exclusive interview that he could not in good conscience continue to be the Leader of the Free World knowing that "people don't like me, and they won't watch me on the TV either."

He said, "My ratings are abdominabable (sic). People don't like me, and 'Mericans don't like the war in Erraq (sic)." He urged mid-season replacement Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to "do the right thing" and resign as well. "People don't like him either." He added that "true leaders lead by example, and that's what I'm doing."

The most surprising moment of all came when the President apologized for bungling the war in Iraq. "I really mucked it up. What was I thinking? I should just bring the boys back home. People just want to forget about 9/11 and move on with their lives. I'm sorry. Won't do that again."