Monday, August 29, 2005

Astounding Scientific Research

A 12 year study conducted by the Bureaucratic Institute of Government Academic Scientific Studies (BIGASS) Research Institute has finally come to its conclusion and the study has been released.

This extensive study was started in 1993 to determine whether pregnant women are pregnant with an unborn baby, or a fetus. This is one of the central points of contention between abortion advocates, and it's opponents.

A press release for the National Abortion Rights Coalition (NARC) states that "A fetus is a parasitic hostile life-form, growing inside of a healthy female host. Who wouldn't want to get rid of it?"

A spokesperson for a pro-life group asserts that it is in fact an unborn human child that grows within it's mother, and that, "If given the chance it will grow into a healthy, beautiful baby. It's wrong to kill an innocent child."

Thanks to this new research, the debate around this issue can finally be resolved. It seems that some women, when they become pregnant, do in fact, have a parasitic, hostile fetus growing within their bodies. Other women, have unborn children developing inside their uterus.

Now, the whole argument has been simplified. It's simply a matter of finding out which type of organism is growing inside, and then it can be determined whether to do away with the dangerous parasitic fetus, or allow the human child to develop.

Some critics are skeptical, claiming that, "Many women claim to have a fetus, when they really have a baby. It's uncertain whether this determination is based on scientific study of the life-form, via ultrasound, and other scientific methods, or if it is simply the will of a woman not desiring to have a baby."

Researchers involved in the study have assured us that there is a legitimate scientific difference between a baby and a fetus, and it is not based on the whims of a selfish mother to be.

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