Friday, August 26, 2005

Instacamper

A Filthy Lie

Wow! It's nearly September, so it's back to school time. For my step-daughter, Hurricane Hellraiser (7), school has been back in session for two weeks now. She's very happy to be back in school too. Especially after attending the Instacamper.

Imagine my horror to find that Evil Glenn Reynolds really is evil, and all the Filthy Lies are true. I though Hurricane H could benefit from some writing classes by the master of the blog O'sphere, especially since she had so much trouble with spelling last year. Boy, was I wrong.

There were no writing classes at all at Instacamper. It turns out Evil Glenn is no master of the English language himself.

HH was very excited as we arrived at Instacamper. "Look, Mikey! Puppies!!!!!!!
They're so cute! That one looks like Isis! Look, it's a Sheba! C'mere Sheba! Sheba! C'mere."

She will probably be forever scarred now, from learning at such a tender young age, what the puppies were really for. She was forced to work slavishly, in a puppy blending sweatshop. First, the puppies were blended, then freeze dried into a powder, and packaged in large plastic jars of 'Insta-energy' protein shake mix.

Oh, the poor girl. A local hobo clan tried to help the children escape from their nightmarish hell. Somehow, this family of vagrants has mysteriously disappeared. God bless them though, for sacrificing their live for the freedom of the children, even though they did not succeed.

One week later, I returned to pick HH up from camp. She's just not the same as she used to be. I hope she can learn to smile again. I can only hope.

DAMN YOU INSTAPUNDIT! Damn you indeed!