Monday, August 22, 2005

Slipknot Sues

After an idiotic attempt to sue Burger King over the mock 'band' Coq Roq failed to either win money in court, or yield greater record sales, the 'band' Slipknot decided to take on a new approach. In what is being hailed as either a genius marketing ploy, or an act of colossal stupidity, Slipknot has decided to sue... Um... Slipknot.

The band's lawyers charge that Slipknot--a mock metal band--is a "look-alike, sound alike 'band'whose masked members have blatantly copied several of Slipknot's signature masks, including a gas mask, a kabuki-style face covering, and a mask with dreadlocks attached.

The first major release by Slipknot was self titled, and demonstrated their FTW attitude, exemplified by the song, "Surfacing." A few of these songs were mere remakes of songs appearing on a demo release entitled Mate. Feed. Kill. Repeat. Including the song "Only One." On their second Major release, the demo song "Killers are Quiet" had about 2 lyrics changed, to convert the song into the title track for Iowa.

The band charges that an alleged third release, The Subliminal Verses, is actually not by the real and true Slipknot. Vocalist Corey Taylor (#8) explains:
They have masks very similar to the ones that we used, but they are somewhat different. There's a guy with dreads, a clown, a pointy nosed guy, a gas mask. But it's not us.

Band member Joey Jordison said:
What the F***! When the F*** did we start using our real F****** names? We were supposed to be F****** anonymous. That's why we had the masks and the F****** numbers.

Craig Jones, another band member said:
On the alleged third album, someone made some songs that sounded like they were off the first album... I mean like almost similar as a remix, and threw in some F****** P**** lame sell out tracks for radio air play. That F****** alienated our fan base pretty quickly. Our fans F****** despise anything even approaching F****** radio friendly.

A lawyer for the band, Dr. Phat Tony said, "I'm not a lawyer you A**hat!" Which is very perplexing considering that he sent a memo to the band's marketing and publicity department stating, "...sales are down. Let'’s litigate."” Dr. Phat Tony, has denied association with the memo, and alleged it to be fraudulent.

Renowned music critic, Steve the Pirate has claimed,
Slipknot isn'’t even a band… You can almost hear them think, "Move... Fingers..." Every time they stuggle to make a chord change. In twenty years, nobody will remember them.

Lawyers for the band are currently pursuing all legal options, and a few illegal ones.


Check out my crude photoshopping in Chuck Hagel is a Donkey

Hat tip - Steve the Pirate for inspiring this.

It's the 17th Carnival of Comedy Hosted By JimmyB The Conservative UAW Guy. And can you believe this was originally the same template as JimmyB is using. I didn't realize how much it had changed until I saw what it used to look like.

Linked: Mudville Gazette - Thanks