Wednesday, August 03, 2005

The UNternet?

A Precision Guided Humor Assignment

What would the internet be like if it were run by the UN?

First of all, there would most certainly be a tax on internet usage. Every time you signed on to the UNternet, you'd pay a tax, that would purportedly be for the benefit of third world countries where the people can't afford computers. The tax would also fund UNternet access to poor nations where they have computers, but need to be subsidized to have UNternet access.

The tax money, of course would really go in the pockets of UN diplomats, who would then supply weapons, and Nobel peace prizes to some of the world's various dictators. At some point the whole scam would be uncovered, and the Talk Radio world would be buzzing about the "UNternet for food" scandal.

There wouldn't be a giant blogoverse, because your average blogger would not be able to afford the kickbacks needed to bribe the necessary UN officials to grant you a certification to hold a website.

Taxes would be graded on a progressive scale, so the larger the site, the higher tax it would pay. This would cripple E-commerce to the point of near non-existence. The only sites that could afford being that overtaxed would be Microsoft, and subscription porn sites, and maybe Instapundit, all of which are evil.

Yes, it would be a glorious day to have the internet run by the UN. Oh, yeah, we wouldn't be allowed to make fun of the French on the internet. What good would that be?