I had an epiphany today. You know how the Lefties like to tell us that dissent is patriotic. Of course, we always think that saying that is a demonstration of their stupidity, but it turns out that it actually makes a lot of sense.
You see, it got me thinking (take it easy, CIA. I know you're spying on me but even if this did result in an explosion, it would be nowhere near big enough to qualify as a terrorist threat).
Now, where was I? Oh yes, I was trying to understand how it is that people intelligent enough to point out that the majority of Americans are in the bottom 99% of the population, intelligence-wise (99% in fact), can look at the same data as I do, and draw a completely out of phase conclusion from me.
Then it occurred to me that the error was mine. After all, I am decidedly in the bottom 99%, intelligence-wise, unlike our super-intelligent liberal counterparts, so clearly the flaw must be in my power of deductive reasoning.
I was determined to work this out. "Think," I said, "think." After slapping myself in the head several dozen times to get the cognitive juices flowing, it struck me. The 3 nanowatt light bulb in my brain kicked on. Eureka! I have found it!
Even closed-minded, dim-witted, black-hearted neocons like me would never deny that historical figures like George Washington, and Samuel Adams were American heroes. They were icons of the American patriotic spirit. They are remembered for their outspoken views against the Colonial (British) government. They were known for rallying against the abuses of the government, and even participated in an armed revolt against the Colonial government.
"Holy mother of Casey!" I exclaimed. Then I looked around to see if anyone heard me. They already have this odd illusion that I am somewhat unusual. Go figure.
I resorted back to internal thought. The Founding Fathers are known for expressing contempt and deep-seeded hatred for the government, and they were the embodiment of the spirit of patriotism. Liberals are known for expressing contempt and deep-seeded hatred for the government. I can only logically deduce that means that liberals are the embodiment of the spirit of patriotism.
I finally get it. Dissent really is patriotic.
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Stop the Neocon Death Machine Linked this. I think that it was on purpose, but it's hard to tell with that Dean04prez guy.
Patriotism, Satire
